Du Du Du-duna Du Du

So last night BC and I watched a bear porn movie. There was no intimacy at all, only inert preening and the stimulation of three specific areas. There was also no kissing, except for some lip biting and straight porn lesbian-like tongue wrestling. One verbal imperative consistent throughout the film was the instructive “Do this to that, yeah,” which doesn’t make sense at all to me, except in the case of the nipple–there are two to choose from so specificity may be in order, but mostly these directives were issued after the activity had already started. A correct statement would be something to the effect of “Continue with that stimulating activity.” I’m concerned that our younger gay brothers may actually think that this is the way that men make love. Sigh. I remember a run-of-the-mill gay film from the late eighties about some bicyclist who ends up with a group of guys in a barn, all stripped down to their tube socks and tennies, that had some convincing dialogue and action. The guy who plays the bicyclist really seems new to the scene, and is obviously excited by all the muscular nudity around him. When he finally gets to it, he keeps saying “Oh boy, oh boy,” and you can see that he really means it, like he’s genuinely excited and genuinely surprised by his excitement. I have gone out with guys who you could tell watched a lot of porn. One of my old boyfriends, Bill, used to describe everything that was happening, like the “Do that thing, yeah” kind of stuff, only non-stop. This was the mid-eighties so he also did poppers and would turn all red and start yelling “Do it to me, do it to me!!” while I was, well, doing it to him, and I never knew what to say, except “I am, I am, yeah!” He tried to coach me to be more verbal, but I just couldn’t. I kept thinking of Madeline Kahn’s “Sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you…” from Young Frankenstein. The only porn films I’ve enjoyed are the Gage Brothers films, which play a lot with masculinity, and the guys seem to really enjoy what they’re doing, and some classic straight porn, like Beyond the Green Door, which was made in the era when porn films were still art. I can’t remember the name of this other straight film that had a huge impact on me, but I remember a scene where this foxy black momma with mammoth mammaries is in some sort of hell-like place, surrounded by men in masks and huge erections. Today this would be a rape scene, as most of contemporary straight porn is even more screwed up and regressive, but this particular scene turned the tables around and was all about her pleasure. She was wild, so excited that she’d grab a guy, make him do this or that, and push him away to grab the next guy or two, voracious and starving. She needed that many guys to satisfy her, and her satisfaction was what it was all about, baby!