#7 came over for dinner last night, and a movie. I made risotto and green beans, and chocolate chip cookies for dessert that I made with a leftover white chocolate brick that I found in the freezer, from I think my 30th birthday, and chopped up. In a twist of the Italian vin santo and biscotti, I served my limoncello with the cookies. It didn’t all come quite together, but his company and conversation were nice. He’s the one who has the sex ads all over the place. When discussing one of the sites with him, he complained that he just gets hit up for sex. Like he was surprised. I suggested that he change his user name to something without the word “sex” in it, and take down the pictures of his nether regions. He’s very charming, sweet, but oddly respectful of my honor, giving me just a little hug before toddling down the hill–yes, another neighbor–and too tired to stay and catch a flick. Perhaps our different announced goals–mine to make friends with an openness to dating, his just for sex, resulted in too much mutual respect, or a kind of magnetic repulsion that kept us from getting too close. I get the sense that he’s a bit nervous about a relationship beyond a night or two, and that’s why all of his ads are superficially about sex. He may see me as not in the category of his one-night-stands, which is great, I’d like to get to know him better. Or he could just not find me attractive. Anyway, it was a very nice evening with a very charming man.
It would be nice to feel on the same page with someone again. There are specific ways of relating that I need beyond just proximity, to be stimulated by ideas and thoughts and experience. I am enjoying the dating game, and the time I’m spending growing and developing alone, but a part of me is already longing for the kind of deep relating that only comes with companionship.