I’m annoyed. I got pretty excited about Bachelor #8’s interest in “dating” me, but sense insecurities and awkward feelings that I recognize from dates past. Bob always said, “The patterns of the past are the keys to the future,” so I need to examine them before I go off and continue to make the same mistakes.
I like #8, find him very attractive, and again, his happy centered-ness is totally great to be around. BUT… We have nothing in common, really, I can tell already. This isn’t a problem, but in the absence of common interests, there has to be an openness to new experience, a thirst for knowledge and culture, an awareness and interest in the visual and sensual. I don’t sense it from him, like he’s just this happy-go-lucky guy who likes to eat a lot, occasionally see a movie, hang with friends, travel to interesting countries just to have sex with the guys who fawn over him on Bear411… I find myself avoiding suggesting that we go to the Karen Finley lecture, or watch Eros together.
It’s like I’m pining over this pretty shell, but I’m actually yearning for some filling. Maybe I’m just feeling disappointment.
Coco, you hardly know this guy, lighten up, dude!
No, really, I know him. I want it all, I want intellectual connectedness and furry belly-bucking. Why aren’t there any bears on Bear411 who read? Should I just cruise the lecture and gallery-opening circuit?
Coco, listen–to–the–sound–of–my–soothing–voice… You’re just getting to know him, enjoy this time, but keep your options open. He’s not asking to marry you, have fun. Respect it for what it is.
Well, alright already, shut up, I’ll relax. Oh, and another thing, he’s not in touch with his man-gina. I thought “versatility” had something to do with being versatile. Isn’t that why it’s called “versatility?” I can see the muscles clenching every time I flip him over. It’s very exciting, but for the opposite reason that he’s doing it.
He’s coming over later, after his brunch with a “friend.” I can play cool, but I’m too much of an insanely jealous insecure neurotic to casually date such an überBear. Aren’t there people out there like me–you know, clingy, desperate? I need to be married, I can’t handle being single anymore.
**Slaps Coco** Coco, you’re regressing! Get a grip! You USED to be clingy and desperate! Now you’re enjoying all that single life has to offer. Cucumber. Cucumber. Focus–you’re cool as a cucumber. Desirable, delicious… cool…
My purple teddy bear is all curled up next to me–his big goofy smile, plastic eyes, and satin bow-tie such a comfort.