The opening last night was fun. I ended up adding an extra work, a little quadrant of Dean Smith as a sort of flower/sphincter/target. It provided some balance and focus on the tiny wall as you exit, and a nice segue into Dean’s work. Thank you, everybody, for coming out! Tell your friends!
So five of the guys that I’ve seen lately showed up–numbers 1, 2, 4, and 8–and the latest dream date, Mr. 10. 4 and 10 had dinner with me, Philip, Dean, and his friend, Dean, afterwards, at Cafe Bastille. I’m at a strange point in this “game,” where I’ve met many interesting men, each of whom appeals to me in different ways. I see all these different paths available–do I hunker down with the Cowardly Lion and bad TV? Travel the world with the sexy newcomer? Be part of a boho artist couple? And then there’s #9, whom I hardly know but really like being around. This kind of dating is new to me–the calm and open kind. I don’t feel ready to commit yet to any one in particular, even for “serious” dating. I told Philip on the way home last night that I feel pulled by the growing attachments, afraid of hurting these very sweet men, but also afraid of jumping into something too quickly. Baby steps. (I immediately free-associated Baby Face, the pre-code classic with Barbara Stanwyck as the babe who sleeps her way to the top, stepping over and discarding the men she longer needs. Focus, Coco–baby steps, the basement…)
So keep your belt fastened, Coco, and remain seated for the duration of the flight.
By the way, there is a lot of whimsy in how I present this in my journal. I’ve chosen to number the guys only because I’d rather not mention names at this point, plus it lets me be more intimate and detailed, and I can indulge my fantasies without getting in too much trouble.
So Mr. 10 is like one of those guys that you see when you travel and think, “If only he lived in San Francisco and were gay…” Well, he IS gay, and he DOES live in San Francisco, and he’s as bright and charming as you thought–in a “rock flute” or “cool jazz” kind of way. His card says he’s a “guide.” I just think “tantric sex.”