So Bachelor #15 is actually a really sweet guy! His online ad convinced me that he was one of those South-of-Market leather daddies with a job at Genentech and a sling in his downstairs dungeon. Well, wouldn’t you know but he does work at Genentech, but doesn’t seem to be the type to be into signing contracts with his dates before tying them up and spanking them with a rubber chicken. Although one of his user pics is of him behind bars wearing nothing but a tie. He hasn’t explained this to me yet, but can you really learn everything during the first interview? He nervously asked about the meaning behind my username, “Sanfranchrisko.” “It’s because I live in SAN FRANcisco and my name is “CHRIS KOmater.” He had been quite anxious about the possibility of my user name being related to an all-vegetable shortening that I guess he was afraid I was going to use on my forearm before making him sit on it. I giggled. “No, I used butter-flavored Crisco once, in the old days, but not for my fist, and I’ve never inserted my limbs into anything that can bite.”
Then, I get home and #16 calls. “I’m calling about your massage on Thursday, Mr. Komater.” Massage, massage…? “Bill, this is Bill.” ??… Oh, Bill! Bill’s best friend is the best friend of Bachelor #8. When I was going out with #8, we’d often do things together, the 4 of us, and it was painfully clear to everyone, #8 included, that Bill and I should be the ones going home together. We had arranged for several dates over the holidays, but he came down with some kind of incapacitating rash, and now I guess he’s jumping past the get-to-know-you phase and moving straight into massage therapy.