My biological clock is ticking so loudly I’m sure I’m going to blow up any second. When will this dreadful swinging bachelorhood end?? #1 is already like a partner, we do almost everything together. Except intimate relations. #2 through #6 are great for different sorts of relations—with each devoted to a fairly specific and finely-tuned kind of activity—but I don’t really share enough in common with #2 and #3. I adore #4, but he doesn’t seem ready to settle down, at least his actions indicate that, despite his incessant marriage proposals. #5 lives in another town, and is the one I want to be courting exclusively, but, did you hear me? he lives in another town. Which means I have to play it cool. I know. Me playing it cool. Not going to happen. He’s already calling me a lesbian. I’ll wait, though, to get to know him better, to see him again, explore how something between us could even work… meanwhile months go by, more hair falls out, more beard hairs turn gray. #6 is a doll, a real doll, sweet, open, uncomplicated, but we’ve only just started getting to know each other. I’m practically ready to tell #5 I love him, the feelings are so intense when I’m with him. Looking into those beautiful eyes framed by that handsome face, I tell him everything else, “I adore you,” “I’m wacky about you,” “I love your eyebrows,” trying to contain and circumvent the overwhelming pheremonal impulse to give aural shape to the intensity I’m experiencing. He read my blog, my entire blog. No one’s ever done that. I don’t know, he might be one of those guys who reads the entire Credit Card Disclosure Agreement, but he also might be The One. Will he take the blue pill, or the red pill?
Tales of Post-Twinkie Ennui