Bridge

I played bridge tonight with Big Chrissy, Sarah and Pam in Menlo Park. As usual, we drank far more than we played–plus profiteroles and chocolate. I made all my contracts, but screwed up big time following my bid of 1 measely no-trump, which seemed like a piece of cake, until Sarah shattered my plans for table domination.

Only five more days of my 37’s. And then two years until I’m 40. I’m so excited. I love 40 year olds. To paraphrase Neely O’Hara–I won’t need anybody.

I watched my film at Big Chris’ the other night and really liked it on the big screen! At one point we both saw Jesus in D’s chest hair and got a little spooked. D comes over tomorrow to hang out with me while I work out the shooting details for our next collaboration, (D) North by Northwest. I’d like to have 3 films completed by the end of the year.

Did I tell you about my horrible haircut? Well, I’m going to tell you again, because you should all suffer as I am. How could anyone with a license in beauty think anyone should look like this? I’m getting cruised by all these hot guys, though. Go figure. Buchenwald is in.

Kill Bill and North by Northwest

Kill Bill was terrific. And the soundtrack was fabulous. Tarantino is the perfect post-modern director, appropriating and translating material as diverse as sounds from Ultraman to the actual stars of Hong Kong action films. He reminds me of a geeky Martin Scorsese, although drawing from overlooked instead of acknowledged masters.

Speaking of drawing from the masters, I had a vision of my next film tonight. I’m going to remake the cropduster scene from North by Northwest, shot by shot, edited exactly the same way, but with completely different imagery–close ups of Dean’s fur. Of course. It makes sense, really, only I’m too exited to tell you why. I want to shoot it now. Dean and I are going to see Love, Actually tomorrow, so perhaps we can get started right away.

Arbus, My Bad Haircut, Finished My Little Film

I just got back from the Diane Arbus show, Revelations, at SFMoMA. No real revelations–her images are so deeply etched into my psyche–although there were a few early photos that showed clear influences prior to her finding her own voice that were interesting to see. There’s one particular room, of her later images of asylum inmates, that, even though I’ve seen them a gazillion times, moved me to near tears–the dark brooding skies and the inmates dressed in masks, performing for themselves and for the camera. “Kak stranno… how strange,” Norma Shearer got it right in Idiot’s Delight. Last night I had peking duck with Peter and Luis–a total delight to be among queens who were raised on MGM musicals and Von Sternberg films. We lamented the new generation of gay men who missed out on the tutelage of the sweater queens (Peter’s father and my early, well, all of my boyfriends), who nurtured our camp sensibilities and anti-assimilationist tendencies. I’ve always wanted to make some sort of public monument to the sissy, to whom we owe everything, and who was sadly jettisoned from the center stage of gay liberation, upstaged by a safer, more palatable representation of masculinity. We talked of throwing a Mae West film festival soon, and plan to grow old as we imagine she did, wisecracking and surrounded by hunky sexpots. I have a horrible haircut, by the way. Bob accused me of anti-semitism this morning when I cursed my hairdresser for making me look like a concentration camp survivor. I carefully explained that I was commenting on Nazi stylists, not their victims.

I finished my first edited version of Tremor, my entree into avant-garde filmmaking. I don’t know if it’s awful or interesting, but I love watching it. I’m going to be one of those Pierre Molinier artists, I’m sure, discovered by some little art fag 50 years from now and proclaimed grande fetishiste –“How could they not see?” he’ll ask… And hey, if you didn’t see my work in the LAB’s 20th anniversary show, tomorrow’s the last day and I don’t show a lot around here. So get your ass away from that computer monitor and over to 16th Street.

So tonight it’s Kill Bill. Yes.

Editing and Martinis

I worked on the sound for my Tremor video today, and am perhaps 1/4 of the way through with the editing. It’s very challenging, sequencing these images in time, instead of on a wall. With my grids, the images relate to each other as a complete abstract visual experience that disintegrates into detail. I’m doing the opposite with the video, the narrative coming together slowly from the sequencing, and the sound manipulating how you read the images. It’s really thrilling.

Tonight it’s martinis and laptop movies in bed. Just me and Jean-Luc Godard. (In Praise of Love–a second viewing after falling asleep last time). Last night I watched an early Douglas Sirk film, Scandal in Paris, which was more Lubitsch-y that Sirk-y, Sirk not quite finding himself in the material, although the 15 seconds of over-the-top-ness were clearly his.

Okay, back to my olive.

Guston, Turrell, Louie, Masumura, Mishima and Me

Finally made it to the Philip Guston retrospective this weekend–remarkably moving work for such a limited iconography. Get thee to the museum, and don’t forget to see James Turrell’s equally remarkable Nada, a light installation on display on the second floor. Upon entering the darkened room, and after a few disorienting minutes, soft light falling on the left and right walls becomes visible. A few more moments, and a rectangle slowly appears, straight ahead. At first it seems like the wall is painted maybe a slightly different shade of white, or a painting, but presented very cinematically. The top and bottom lines of the rectangle appear very solid, while the sides seem to blend in with the walls. As you get closer, the flat rectangle gives way to an illusion of depth, but without lines or shadows. Curious about this, I drew closer and put my hand through the rectangle, which turned out to be an opening into another space, lit slightly brighter than the other room, but with absolutely no depth or seams, just empty space. Nothingness.

Also on display is a very large exhibition of very large luscious color photos by my former teacher, Reagan Louie, of Asian prostitutes, beautifully, lovingly, and inertly photographed. I left learning nothing really about them, other than that they have very colorful rooms and seem to lounge around all day nude on beds or in baths and never seem to have sex.

I also finally got to see Masamura’s Afraid to Die starring Yukio Mishima! Mishima, sadly, was not the greatest actor, but what a hot little number. His greatest acting role was as one of a pair of lovers turned to wax in Black Lizard. You’d think that Mishima would have said something about the script, but it was fun for its lurid color and fabulous death scene. One yakuza keeps scratching his pubic area, too, very prolonged rubbings, perhaps to warn us of the crabs that come with a life of crime? I went through an intense Mishima phase in my early twenties, very affected by his Sea of Fertility tetralogy–life’s struggle revealed as an illusion. “Life’s a big joke, and there’s no punch line…” Marie Windsor cries after being shot by her husband Elisha Cook, Jr. in Kubrick’s The Killing, before keeling over. After several weeks I moved on to Mishima masturbating to Saint Sebastian, where I’ve been ever since.

Emerging From the Darkroom to Complain

“Photography is the bunk,” Nayland said, and was he right. 10 wasted sheets of paper ($25) this morning. As it turns out, the exposure times that I logged a few weeks ago for the Starry Night test prints were based on fogged paper. When are they going to develop a digital gelatin silver printer? Ansel, forgive me for wanting an easy way out and grant your humble servant a fucking wide tonal range. Okay, time for a sammy and then back to my alchemy and Tumbleweed Connection. Vintage Elton (before the rug and back-waxing) will make everything okay.

Keywords

Among the more interesting keywords typed into search engines to find my site this week…

11. lining dresser drawers
12. old gay hairy men
22. how to become a hairy male
23. hirsute haremgallery
26. pictorialist female nudes
29. malemenhairychest
33. his slim smooth belly
42. gay men feeling their testicles
48. bed sheets with bees motif

I Just Got Back

I just got back from Reese’s summer drama camp recital. He was, of course, a smash as Oliver!, even brought a proud tear to my eye during the “Wha-a-a-a-aaaaat is looooove?” number. Tonight I’m off to hear Adam Klein (the former Miss Rena MacDonald) read from his most excellent book Tiny Ladies, previously reviewed in this blog somewhere. Adam is also in a band called “Roman Evening,” a multi-talented word stylist who’s unfortunately off to Bangladesh or somewhere with the Peace Corps, so we will commence with the bon voyaging tonight. Last night I had dinner with Michael, his boyfriend Rob, and Bob in Oakland to celebrate Michael’s new 18th century canape–no, not the appetizer, the sofa–and chairs. Michael’s getting quite arch in his gay affect, which I love and encourage. I had just read in the most recent NEST an article about Cy Twombly’s palazzo in Rome, with pictures taken by Horst in the mid-60’s for a Vogue article, and Michael’s place reminded me of it. “Oh, Cy…” he squealed with a roll of the head as I mentioned the article to him, and produced some hot juicy nuggets of gossip about his experiences in Rome. I wonder if I’ll ever attain the status of being the subject of trashy gossip tossed about a dinner party 30 something years after the Diana Vreeland/Horst exposé of my palazzo in Guerneville?

LAB show coming up, Puppy- and Muscrat Love

Glen Helfand, our cute local critic is curating a 20th anniversary show for the LAB, and has invited me, and some 19 others who have had solo exhibitions there over the past 20 years to participate. I first showed there in 1992 (‘ish), a very large installation/gender spectacle/showdown called High Noon. Glen asked if I’d like to revisit the piece for the show, and I’m thinking of proposing something containing similar conflicts that I explored in High Noon, but starring the inhabitants of the new West, my furry West. The show opens in October. Mark your calendars, and stay tuned for details…

Tonight I dogsat for my neighbor Arnie. His dog’s name is Shimon, and I am in love. We ate burritos, drank a bottle of wine, and watched No Man’s Land and Saturday Night and Sunday Morning together. Arnie came home to us in a tangle of arms and paws on the living room floor. I had passed up a last-minute opportunity to have dinner with Toirac, a famous Cuban painter whom I met in Havana a few years ago and who’s in town, only because Bob has so unsettled me over the past few days that I didn’t think I could be around him without the evening quickly dissolving into Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe–well, it already had for starters. I needed a non-human companion for the evening, and Shimon didn’t mind having a soused Liz Taylor for company.

Muscrat Love, the song by Captain and Tennile, is buzzing in my head tonight. I haven’t heard it in years, and only chanced upon a brief snippet of it several months ago, so it’s a faded sort of memory of it that is serenading me, but Toni’s sincerity and lush voice, and that bizarre electronic muscrat sound toward the end have seized me in this iron vice of sugary pop innocence and nostalgia.