Hot weekend and the next hot reality TV show

It’s supposed to be really warm this weekend. I don’t know if I could get through the weekend without hopping up to Guerneville to help keep the boys cool at Lazy Bear. The thought of all that exposed fur, without ME there with my palm fronds, kind of, I don’t know… hurts. Incidentally, I’ve come up with a new reality TV show idea called Femme Eye for the Gay Bear, with me, of course, dispensing advice about collectible pottery, beard trimmers, pants, closet organizers and low calorie popsicles. I posted an ad on bear.net a few days ago, soliciting potential models. My username is NotABearBear, which most accurately describes my bearness. I’ve only heard from one guy, whose brother, incidentally, is the lover of the director of one of the most desirable galleries in town for an artist such as I (Lorelei Lee) to be in. Woo hoo!

Sigh

My Tim grid isn’t any closer to being resolved. Unlike other works in progress that don’t come together, this one I can’t walk away from. I’m so intrigued by the single images, they’re so strange and alluring–I know that there’s a piece in there somewhere. Instead of chiseling away at marble, slowly releasing the soul inside, I sit at my little table, day in and day out, shifting these little furry test prints around, waiting for the image to come together, to breath life into the fur. Nothing. It’s been weeks, months? and I’m beginning to feel like the Jack Nicholson that Shelley Duval discovered writing nothing but “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” over and over again. It’s the 5th year since my return to photography and my exploration of the grid, and I’m feeling, again like I’m ready to move on to something with a less rigid structure. It was a lot easier to create during my affair with the bipolar borderline bear, oddly, drawing from my sensual immersion rather than from formal and aesthetic problems. It’s the difference in engagement with my subject matter that’s left me dangling. And no, I don’t want that kind of drama in my life again, I just want my work to thrill me in the same way. Without the drama. Stay tuned, gentle reader, I’m sure I’ll figure it out, and then, who knows.

Poet’s Theater at the LAB

Tonight the LAB hosted a fabulous evening of disjunct and experimental poetry and theater, put together by Carla Harryman. Dodie Bellamy read from her Cunt Ups, a novel of cut ups, that contrasted well with Camille Roy’s dynamic poems called “Grenades,” based on the Iraq war. Dodie’s work is so well-written and interesting, but the extreme pornography in her work is rendered in terms that are practically devoid of emotion, just the sensation of sex, while Camille’s words are little bombs of feeling, starting with the line, “Dude…. I mean dad…” delivered with kittenish bravado. The headliner was Kevin Killian, who presented a play in collaboration with Craig Goodman, about the “Smith” family–featuring Wayne Smith as father Wayne Smith, with daughters Susan (who drowned her two kids) Smith and Liz Smith, son Jack (experimental filmmaker–Flaming Creatures) Smith, sister Jaclyn Smith, Morrissey (of The Smiths), etc… Kevin’s plays tend to be camp extravaganzas with characters and situations culled from contemporary pop and highbrow culture, featuring local artistic and literary celebutantes. I had a little fling with Wayne long ago, who recently broke up with his boyfriend (I knew it wouldn’t last), and had fun watching his lips move as the other characters delivered their dialog. He’s so like a little boy. With a cute belly, a deep voice, a little gray goatee, and a nice package. I ran into Sandy (MoMA chief photo curator) Philip’s boyfriend, who always calls me Tim. “Tim, Sandy says you’re doing great work! They’re buying something, right, or something like that?” Right.

Victor-y!

Okay, here’s the final mockup for my Victor grid.

Now what to call it? I was thinking of calling it Victor, after its subject, or something related to waves, like Swell or Surge. Okay, definitely Swell. I like the golly-gee-ness of that word, and its relation to body function, the sea, pride, as an adjective, noun, exclamation… it extends the idea of the piece rather than just identifying it.

Victor v.1

I’ve got what I think is a first draft of my Victor grid.  The lower right quarter doesn’t feel quite resolved yet, but I thought I’d post the piece in progress and see what your thoughts are.  If you have any, let me know.  (Keep in mind that the tones will be quite different in the printed piece—we’re just looking at composition today.)

I’ve also come up with an idea for Tim, but it’s so unlike anything I’ve ever done, that I have to sit on the idea for a few more days before I solicit any feedback.  Stay tuned.

Why oh Why do I Love Paris?

The people that I met and played with…

Sue Megan Bob Me Peter Luis
Chris Nico Clemence Lawrence Stan David
Fred Davide Art Kathleen Simone Etel

I love Paris when it sizzles, and it was sizzling. As in hot. I stayed with Bob in the Marais, in the apartment of his cousins, who live in New York and generously offered us the use of their pied a terre for the month of June. Bob is still there, working on his latest book of short stories which will be released in the fall. My friends Peter and Luis came along. Every morning Luis woke early, and with Bob, the other hunter-gatherer, scoured the streets of the Marais for pastries and fabulous cheeses, while Peter and I made tea and were supposed to plan where we were going to go that day, but mostly gossiped about Louis XVI’s foreskin or the decorative arts.

Here’s the rather bleak view from the apartment:

I lost three pounds on a diet of about 5 pastries/day, endless raw-milk cheeses, and lots of really great wine. (I call wine medicine now, since it’s been discovered that a glass a day is equivalent to exercise.)

On my first day there, I met up with my old photographer friend Chris Nisperos, who used to run Toto Foto on Castro in the mid-80’s before Headlines forced him to sell so that they could move in, and now lives in Paris with his cute boyfriend Nico, for a tour of the Marais, the Place de Vosges, and the area around the Bastille. We ate dinner at a bistro called Cafe de l’Industrie. The food was only so so, but the waitresses all looked like models, very exotic and sexy, with teeny waists and exposed pierced navals. The wine was cheap and good, though.

Food highlights included foie gras sandwiches and Berthillon ice cream (pear sorbet and caramel ice cream) on the Ile de la Cite, a dreamy Blanquette de Veau, greens with eggs and bacon, and a fabulous tarte tatin at Le Petit Tonneau near the Invalides, innovative and exquisitely crafted pastries from Pierre Herme on Rue Bonaparte (we spent about 50 euros) which included a tart of tomato and strawberry (!), and speaking of tomatoes as desserts, a tomato tarte tatin (!) at Les Philosophe in the Marais, and a thrilling new take on the classic bistro in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower at Au Bon Accueil, which had a prix fixe meal of only 25 euros–surely the best bargain in Paris for such an extraordinary meal.

I met up with 2 cute furry Italians, thanks to matchmaker Victor–Davide and Fred. I invited them to accompany me to see an exhibit at the Musee de la Mode et du Textile, in the Louvre, Trop, an exhibition of costume and fashion jewelry from the 20’s to the 60’s, taken from Barbara Berger’s collection, and dresses from throughout the 20th Century culled from the Museum’s collection. It was Davide’s first trip to Paris, and perhaps an exhibit not so suited to meeting someone new, but it was nice to get to know him and Fred, and we took a nice long walk through the Tuilleries, across the Seine and around to the Latin Quarter for lunch, and then back across the Seine to the Marais apartment. That afternoon I discovered the Carnavalet Museum, which I’d never thought of visiting before, but ended up spending the rest of the afternoon there, and a good bit of another day later in the trip. The museum is devoted to the history of Paris, in a 16th century mansion where Madame de Sevigne, whose letters created a rich source of insight into life in 17th century France, once lived. You can see Proust’s cork-walled bedroom, a whole wing devoted to the revolution, including mementos made of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette’s hair, a gorgeous Art Nouveau jewelry showroom designed for Georges Fouquet by Alphonse Mucha, with bronze peacocks, stained glass, mosaics, and four grand bubbled glass vitrines which display about one piece of jewelry each.

I didn’t visit the grand museums of Paris this time around, except for the Guimet, devoted to Asian art, and to me the most beautifully designed and organized museum that I’ve ever visited, the Pompidou Center, and the Cluny. The Guimet has a wonderful collection of art from an area of what is now Afghanistan and Pakistan. Gandhara art, the first to give iconographic form to the Buddha’s life, shows the influence of Hellenic scultpture and art. In the grid below you can see a sculpture of one of George Bush’s more enlightened ancestors. At the Pompidou, I was thrilled to see myself reflected in Brancusi’s Sleeping Muse, one of my favorite sculptures. The Cluny not only has the amazing Lady and the Unicorn tapestries, but also one of the many sculptures I came across in France devoted to the genital mutilation of Christ–oh, and his umbilical cord. I also saw several smaller exhibitions, most memorably one devoted the the work of 16th century manuscript illuminator, Jean Fouquet (no relation to Georges) at the Bibliotheque National.

David Bigelman, a Cuban architect that I met while in Paris in ’99 before going to Havana, led me and Bob around one day through the Bagatelle garden, in the Bois de Bologne. David is working on several large projects, including the remodel of the Champs Ellyses, but works primarily in urban renewal. The garden surrounds a chateau built by Comte d’Artois for his sister-in-law, Marie Antoinette, and was designed in the English style by a Scottish gardener, Thomas Blaikie. The garden was host to an exhibition about labyrinths, and included documentation as well as actual reconstructions of famous mazes. I love the formality of the French garden, and how little it changes from season to season, but was totally won over by the annual rose competition, which transforms one of the smaller gardens into an hysterical explosion of color and scent.

Peter, who is visually impaired, was allowed to fondle the sculptures in most of the museums. I didn’t accompany him to the Louvre, but he reported being most impressed by the classical endowments. I had always heard that the Greeks found large packages to be vulgar, but who am I to rain on Peter’s parade of classical peters? There are several Herculeses that I’d be happy to guide him around.

I attended several lively dinners, one thrown by Art Bierman and Kathleen Fraser. Art is a writer and philospher, currently writing a play about a contemporary hermaphrodite. Kathleen, his wife, is a poet. They’re renting a place in Montparnasse for the summer, and had us over for paella. Simone Fatale and Etel Adnan were there. They split their time between Sausalito, Lebanon and Paris, and treated us to the story of how they got together, which involved a wild party at Simone’s, too many hash brownies, and three days’ “recouperation” in bed. Simone looks and acts just like what you think someone named Simone Fatale would look and act like–deep husky voice, eyelashes that create little breezes when batted at you. She just exhibited her recent sculptures in Paris, and Etel is having a play produced somewhere this summer, maybe Greece? Since dinner ended well after the last Metro, Art put us on a bus, unfortunately going in the wrong direction, so we ended up getting home rather late. Early, I mean. I had several lovely dinners in the 6th arrondissment with a friend of my sister’s, Lawrence. Sue, my sister, and our niece, Megan, who just graduated from high school, were also in town while I was there and were staying with Lawrence in her 5th floor walkup. Lawrence has lived in her 17th century building for about 20 years. Several years ago, she asked her landlord if she could expand her tiny little apartment by breaking into the attic. She cut a hole in her ceiling and expanded her tiny apartment into the space above her little abode, plus into the neighboring building, more than tripling her rental space. She explosed lovely old wooden beams and created a magical environment for her and her brilliant child, Clemence, who at 8, speaks fluent english, and is a total treat to be around. Lawrence’s husband died in a swimming accident several years ago, but was resucitated after being dead for something like 20 minutes. He has lost all of his long term memory, and lives in a hospital, but maintains ever-changing short-term relationships with them.

The bourgeoisie is dead. And buried at the Pere Lachaise cemetery (see picture below).

I did make it to the Bear’s Den, the Paris bear bar. For an orange juice. Bears are kind of skinny in Paris, or at least the ones who were prowling during my brief visit, and they don’t seem to have much hair. They do have the costumes, though. Could it be fair for me to draw such a conclusion from an hour during a weekday afternoon at the Bear’s Den? The bar is located on the corner of Rue Nicolas Flamel, which should mean something to you Harry Potter fans.

Obligitory shots of Notre Dame. That’s Saint Denis holding his head. When he was martyred, he picked up his chopped off head and carried it across town.

Sue, Megan and I took a day-trip to see the cathedral at Chartres. There really is such a thing as Chartres blue. We hiked up the 300 steps to the top of the high gothic north tower. From that perspective one really understands the monumental task of building such a structure. And way up there, where no one except the almighty Herself can see anything, there are beautifully carved sculptures in just about every nook and cranny. Where did that word “cranny” come from? Oh, there’s a picture in the middle of the last row of photos below of another rendering of the ritual genital mutilation of Christ, from the choir screen. I remember something in Sienna about St. Catherine wearing his foreskin as a ring in some marriage fantasy that she had about him. Would she simply be another urban primitive if she were alive today? The Bride of Christ, St. Catherine was cool, actually, she would pray so fervently that she frequently levitated.

So I really like Paris a lot. Rome has always been my favorite city in the world, and Italians my favorite people, but Paris was so lovely, the people so sweet (really), and the food so wonderful that I’m going to have to spend some more time there.

Victor-y

Praise the Lord for Victor’s beard. After days and days of struggling with the arms and swirls of Dallas and Tim, with nothing yet that really thrills me, I stepped into the darkroom today and stepped out with amazing possibilities. I created challenges for myself with Dallas and Tim, photographing relatively flat surfaces, with little contrast and not much depth–I still have hope, but it’s going to be a long time, I think, before I have anything substantial to show of those boys. Now Victor’s a different story. The images are lush and blurry with all sorts of interesting shapes and angles and wiry hair everywhere! Woo hoo! I won’t be able to work with them until after vacation, though… but I am going to take my little cut up contact sheets with me to play with on the plane, a child with his blocks.

Disappointed

Matthew Barney’s Cremaster Cycle is coming to the Castro, and I’ll only be able to see #3 before skipping town. Drat. Early on, I wasn’t taken by what he was doing, and dismissed him without looking very closely (my friend Christian and I went to his performance at SFMoMA in 1991[?] and rolled our eyes, seemingly contemptuous of what we thought was pretentious claptrap, but actually seething with jealousy that this young out-of-towner was given a solo show at our museum), but now I’m quite dazzled by his technical accomplishment and very interested in the conceptual basis of his work. Perhaps I’m mellowing with age.  Or reading more.  But actually, I don’t think I’ll ever feel differently about the juvenilia that’s been awarded the SECA award this year (except Chris Johanson, who is without a doubt, brilliant).