I Just Got Back

I just got back from Reese’s summer drama camp recital. He was, of course, a smash as Oliver!, even brought a proud tear to my eye during the “Wha-a-a-a-aaaaat is looooove?” number. Tonight I’m off to hear Adam Klein (the former Miss Rena MacDonald) read from his most excellent book Tiny Ladies, previously reviewed in this blog somewhere. Adam is also in a band called “Roman Evening,” a multi-talented word stylist who’s unfortunately off to Bangladesh or somewhere with the Peace Corps, so we will commence with the bon voyaging tonight. Last night I had dinner with Michael, his boyfriend Rob, and Bob in Oakland to celebrate Michael’s new 18th century canape–no, not the appetizer, the sofa–and chairs. Michael’s getting quite arch in his gay affect, which I love and encourage. I had just read in the most recent NEST an article about Cy Twombly’s palazzo in Rome, with pictures taken by Horst in the mid-60’s for a Vogue article, and Michael’s place reminded me of it. “Oh, Cy…” he squealed with a roll of the head as I mentioned the article to him, and produced some hot juicy nuggets of gossip about his experiences in Rome. I wonder if I’ll ever attain the status of being the subject of trashy gossip tossed about a dinner party 30 something years after the Diana Vreeland/Horst exposé of my palazzo in Guerneville?

Why oh Why do I Love Paris?

The people that I met and played with…

Sue Megan Bob Me Peter Luis
Chris Nico Clemence Lawrence Stan David
Fred Davide Art Kathleen Simone Etel

I love Paris when it sizzles, and it was sizzling. As in hot. I stayed with Bob in the Marais, in the apartment of his cousins, who live in New York and generously offered us the use of their pied a terre for the month of June. Bob is still there, working on his latest book of short stories which will be released in the fall. My friends Peter and Luis came along. Every morning Luis woke early, and with Bob, the other hunter-gatherer, scoured the streets of the Marais for pastries and fabulous cheeses, while Peter and I made tea and were supposed to plan where we were going to go that day, but mostly gossiped about Louis XVI’s foreskin or the decorative arts.

Here’s the rather bleak view from the apartment:

I lost three pounds on a diet of about 5 pastries/day, endless raw-milk cheeses, and lots of really great wine. (I call wine medicine now, since it’s been discovered that a glass a day is equivalent to exercise.)

On my first day there, I met up with my old photographer friend Chris Nisperos, who used to run Toto Foto on Castro in the mid-80’s before Headlines forced him to sell so that they could move in, and now lives in Paris with his cute boyfriend Nico, for a tour of the Marais, the Place de Vosges, and the area around the Bastille. We ate dinner at a bistro called Cafe de l’Industrie. The food was only so so, but the waitresses all looked like models, very exotic and sexy, with teeny waists and exposed pierced navals. The wine was cheap and good, though.

Food highlights included foie gras sandwiches and Berthillon ice cream (pear sorbet and caramel ice cream) on the Ile de la Cite, a dreamy Blanquette de Veau, greens with eggs and bacon, and a fabulous tarte tatin at Le Petit Tonneau near the Invalides, innovative and exquisitely crafted pastries from Pierre Herme on Rue Bonaparte (we spent about 50 euros) which included a tart of tomato and strawberry (!), and speaking of tomatoes as desserts, a tomato tarte tatin (!) at Les Philosophe in the Marais, and a thrilling new take on the classic bistro in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower at Au Bon Accueil, which had a prix fixe meal of only 25 euros–surely the best bargain in Paris for such an extraordinary meal.

I met up with 2 cute furry Italians, thanks to matchmaker Victor–Davide and Fred. I invited them to accompany me to see an exhibit at the Musee de la Mode et du Textile, in the Louvre, Trop, an exhibition of costume and fashion jewelry from the 20’s to the 60’s, taken from Barbara Berger’s collection, and dresses from throughout the 20th Century culled from the Museum’s collection. It was Davide’s first trip to Paris, and perhaps an exhibit not so suited to meeting someone new, but it was nice to get to know him and Fred, and we took a nice long walk through the Tuilleries, across the Seine and around to the Latin Quarter for lunch, and then back across the Seine to the Marais apartment. That afternoon I discovered the Carnavalet Museum, which I’d never thought of visiting before, but ended up spending the rest of the afternoon there, and a good bit of another day later in the trip. The museum is devoted to the history of Paris, in a 16th century mansion where Madame de Sevigne, whose letters created a rich source of insight into life in 17th century France, once lived. You can see Proust’s cork-walled bedroom, a whole wing devoted to the revolution, including mementos made of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette’s hair, a gorgeous Art Nouveau jewelry showroom designed for Georges Fouquet by Alphonse Mucha, with bronze peacocks, stained glass, mosaics, and four grand bubbled glass vitrines which display about one piece of jewelry each.

I didn’t visit the grand museums of Paris this time around, except for the Guimet, devoted to Asian art, and to me the most beautifully designed and organized museum that I’ve ever visited, the Pompidou Center, and the Cluny. The Guimet has a wonderful collection of art from an area of what is now Afghanistan and Pakistan. Gandhara art, the first to give iconographic form to the Buddha’s life, shows the influence of Hellenic scultpture and art. In the grid below you can see a sculpture of one of George Bush’s more enlightened ancestors. At the Pompidou, I was thrilled to see myself reflected in Brancusi’s Sleeping Muse, one of my favorite sculptures. The Cluny not only has the amazing Lady and the Unicorn tapestries, but also one of the many sculptures I came across in France devoted to the genital mutilation of Christ–oh, and his umbilical cord. I also saw several smaller exhibitions, most memorably one devoted the the work of 16th century manuscript illuminator, Jean Fouquet (no relation to Georges) at the Bibliotheque National.

David Bigelman, a Cuban architect that I met while in Paris in ’99 before going to Havana, led me and Bob around one day through the Bagatelle garden, in the Bois de Bologne. David is working on several large projects, including the remodel of the Champs Ellyses, but works primarily in urban renewal. The garden surrounds a chateau built by Comte d’Artois for his sister-in-law, Marie Antoinette, and was designed in the English style by a Scottish gardener, Thomas Blaikie. The garden was host to an exhibition about labyrinths, and included documentation as well as actual reconstructions of famous mazes. I love the formality of the French garden, and how little it changes from season to season, but was totally won over by the annual rose competition, which transforms one of the smaller gardens into an hysterical explosion of color and scent.

Peter, who is visually impaired, was allowed to fondle the sculptures in most of the museums. I didn’t accompany him to the Louvre, but he reported being most impressed by the classical endowments. I had always heard that the Greeks found large packages to be vulgar, but who am I to rain on Peter’s parade of classical peters? There are several Herculeses that I’d be happy to guide him around.

I attended several lively dinners, one thrown by Art Bierman and Kathleen Fraser. Art is a writer and philospher, currently writing a play about a contemporary hermaphrodite. Kathleen, his wife, is a poet. They’re renting a place in Montparnasse for the summer, and had us over for paella. Simone Fatale and Etel Adnan were there. They split their time between Sausalito, Lebanon and Paris, and treated us to the story of how they got together, which involved a wild party at Simone’s, too many hash brownies, and three days’ “recouperation” in bed. Simone looks and acts just like what you think someone named Simone Fatale would look and act like–deep husky voice, eyelashes that create little breezes when batted at you. She just exhibited her recent sculptures in Paris, and Etel is having a play produced somewhere this summer, maybe Greece? Since dinner ended well after the last Metro, Art put us on a bus, unfortunately going in the wrong direction, so we ended up getting home rather late. Early, I mean. I had several lovely dinners in the 6th arrondissment with a friend of my sister’s, Lawrence. Sue, my sister, and our niece, Megan, who just graduated from high school, were also in town while I was there and were staying with Lawrence in her 5th floor walkup. Lawrence has lived in her 17th century building for about 20 years. Several years ago, she asked her landlord if she could expand her tiny little apartment by breaking into the attic. She cut a hole in her ceiling and expanded her tiny apartment into the space above her little abode, plus into the neighboring building, more than tripling her rental space. She explosed lovely old wooden beams and created a magical environment for her and her brilliant child, Clemence, who at 8, speaks fluent english, and is a total treat to be around. Lawrence’s husband died in a swimming accident several years ago, but was resucitated after being dead for something like 20 minutes. He has lost all of his long term memory, and lives in a hospital, but maintains ever-changing short-term relationships with them.

The bourgeoisie is dead. And buried at the Pere Lachaise cemetery (see picture below).

I did make it to the Bear’s Den, the Paris bear bar. For an orange juice. Bears are kind of skinny in Paris, or at least the ones who were prowling during my brief visit, and they don’t seem to have much hair. They do have the costumes, though. Could it be fair for me to draw such a conclusion from an hour during a weekday afternoon at the Bear’s Den? The bar is located on the corner of Rue Nicolas Flamel, which should mean something to you Harry Potter fans.

Obligitory shots of Notre Dame. That’s Saint Denis holding his head. When he was martyred, he picked up his chopped off head and carried it across town.

Sue, Megan and I took a day-trip to see the cathedral at Chartres. There really is such a thing as Chartres blue. We hiked up the 300 steps to the top of the high gothic north tower. From that perspective one really understands the monumental task of building such a structure. And way up there, where no one except the almighty Herself can see anything, there are beautifully carved sculptures in just about every nook and cranny. Where did that word “cranny” come from? Oh, there’s a picture in the middle of the last row of photos below of another rendering of the ritual genital mutilation of Christ, from the choir screen. I remember something in Sienna about St. Catherine wearing his foreskin as a ring in some marriage fantasy that she had about him. Would she simply be another urban primitive if she were alive today? The Bride of Christ, St. Catherine was cool, actually, she would pray so fervently that she frequently levitated.

So I really like Paris a lot. Rome has always been my favorite city in the world, and Italians my favorite people, but Paris was so lovely, the people so sweet (really), and the food so wonderful that I’m going to have to spend some more time there.

Pastry Dreams and the Sweat House

Bob and I got our tickets to Paris today. I am so ready for the apple pastry and croisssant aux amandes at my favorite patisserie on the Rue de Rivoli. That croissant is one of my favorite things. The almond filling infuses the pastry like a custard. And the apple pastry is impossible to describe because it is unlike anything else. It just is, apples and flour and butter transformed into oral pleasure. I need to escape into sensation. And raw-milk cheeses.

Bob’s mom leaves on Saturday morning. I look forward to having my chilly house back. Tonight at dinner sweat dripped off my nose, my shirt was soaked–even my knuckels were sweating. I can deal with an 80 degree house only if there’s a beach outside.

Jesus Break

Okay, we haven’t had dessert yet, but I had to sneak down to my studio and chat a bit. As inevitably happens, the conversation at dinner turned to the supernatural (Bob’s aunt astral-travels, and his brother was visited by.. well, they’re not sure if it was the Virgin of Guadalupe or Loudes. “Well, were there kids with her or was she surrounded by flames?” I asked. Blank expressions). Bob’s mom recently had a dream in which Jesus appeared to her–white light and everything. I asked her if he had any message, and she responded, “It was so REAL. I couldn’t get away from him, I kept trying to wake up!” So much for Our Savior of San Diego.

Beach, Grouper Sandwiches, and Hot Wet Teens

Saint Pete Beach and grouper sandwiches at Philthy Phil’s today with Bruce. I have a red square burned into the center of my back, where my hands couldn’t reach to apply sunscreen. Not feeling at all proud to be American these days, a red square seems to fit. Tonight I went out with my nieces, Megan and Aimee, with sister Sue, and Brucey, to see the senior projects of the local Arts Center High School students. The high school is a magnet school with an emphasis on the performing arts. Tonight’s productions included excerpts from Seussical, featuring a humpy little Horton, a Thai version of Margaret Cho (Megan’s friend), a real female Hedwig and her Angry Inch, an utterly astounding version of The Producers, which I still can’t believe was put on by teenagers, and a sad, if not heartfelt version of Cabaret (the actress portraying Sally Bowles channeled aloofness and joie de vivre into weariness).

On the way to the theater in Clearwater, we listened to Megan’s compilation of Disney tunes. When a base-thumping low-rider pulled up next to us at the stop light, and with Bippity Boppity Boo cranked up and all of us singing along, Sue remarked to Bruce, “This is what you get when you don’t have problem children.”

Caladisi Island

A few pics of the sunset last night, obligatory, and from my trip today to Caladisi island. Caladisi is a small undeveloped island about 15 minutes by ferry from Dunedin. My sister Carol, her husband Bruce, their friends Howard and Nancy, very sweet people, and I hiked around the island, through mangroves, a pine hammock, beautiful groves of palm trees, which rustled musically in the breeze, and past many wild flowers and blooming cacti. I love the heat, and sweating, and not wearing a shirt, and all the new smells wafting up to my nose from below somewhere on my body. My skin is all moist and glowing. Everyone here is scantily clad and brown, with little beer bellies, pink faces, and happy dispositions. I haven’t seen a queen in days, or a real bear, only of the hairless variety. Sigh.

A Nice Long Day

Well, it looks like “It’s over” means something with a little more flexibility than I had thought the other night. My life and art are very much intertwined with things Big Chrissy, so I appreciate the chance to continue working together towards something really wonderful.

I hopped out of bed yesterday morning and ran quickly down to the market to pick up some apples and flour, zoomed up the hill to Chris’, popped a pie in and out of the oven, and was immediately swept away by Dave and Dave, who treated us to a lunch at the Cliff House. I’ve been here 19 years, and I’ve never been, except to visit the Camera Obscura, the Musee Mechanique, etc…, and the buffet was really great, with spectacular views of Seal Rock and huge waves. They need to tear it down and rebuild the Victorian building, though, and Sutro Baths while they’re at it…

Chris and I spent the rest of the day making the best chilli that I’ve ever had, and that we’ll all be eating for the next month, hot dogs specially chosen for the Pratt, home made cornbread, etc, etc… and only after an hour past the time when The Pratts were supposed to be there did someone say, “Did you talk to The Pratts about tonight?” Well, it seems like there was too much communication, but none of it very successful, so sadly we dined sans Chris and Dan. We must try again, for I miss those guys whom I’ve met only once but have grown so fond of through their online presence and cute pictures.

The boys and I then went to the Stud, where Chris and I were approached by several bloggers who had actually read our journals, we bobbed our heads by the dance floor, looking so thirty- and forty-something, while Dave and Dave went off and made out with several guys at the bar. They are something, those Daves, and should be in charge of all libido-related activities.

The End of the Festival, and What Else?

Today was the last of the Film Noir festival at the Castro. Actually there are two films playing tomorrow, but I’ve seen them already, and too recently. I saw many films this week that I haven’t even read about, and usually this means one of two things–they’re either not worth knowing about to begin with, or they’ve been sitting in some vault for 60 years. I was the geek standing at the front of the line an hour before each movie started, to assure my 7-11th row center seat, in the hope of discovering some forgotten gem, but, unfortunately, most of the films fell into the category of not worth remembering, but I, as a completist and student of film, had to see The Woman on Pier 13 aka I Married a Communist, just to witness the comic depiction of waterfront communists in the mid-40’s. (As really mean Chicago-style gangsters.) I didn’t revisit the films that I’ve seen a gazillion times (Out of the Past, Dark Passage, Lady from Shaghai, etc…), but focused on the rarer treats. Today’s movie featured a very young and very tasty Tony Curtis in leather police drag (!) and Gilbert Roland’s big face and hairy forearms–widescreen and luscious. The programmer of the festival really pushed the boundaries of film noir, and included many features that were more like film gris, including femmes fatale who actually loved the men they destroyed, really meant well, and didn’t even die in the end.

So what will happen in the next exciting episode of Big Chris/Little Chris? Last night I was told that “It was over,” but tomorrow we’re supposed to entertain a gaggle of international bear celebutantes. A yo-yo, on Big Chris’ string, that’s me, and who knows how long I’ll spin and flip for my beloved big dude.

Stay tuned, gentle reader.

A Bum Knee, Solaris, and Manny 18 Years Ago

I fell down my stairs, again, on Sunday, a few hours after banging into my “health chair” while grappling for the light in my studio downstairs. It didn’t bug me until tonight, my knee, after doing a little Christmas shopping, well, actually buying myself the new Criterion release of Contempt while shopping for my loved ones, and then after climbing my hill and the flight of stairs to my flat and, whammo, instant inflammation. I made a long entry last night in my blog about Manny–I spent an hour or so on it–but then inadvertently deleted it. So I’ll try to recap, although the throbbing in my knee and the half bottle of wine I drank at BC’s will surely temper the sentiment of last night into something perhaps less sappy and hopefully less lengthy.

So I went to see Solaris with Bob last night, a fairly decent stylish and moody remake of the Tarkovsky film, directed by Steven Soderbergh. George Clooney plays a psychologist, “Chris,” who is called to investigate the strange goings-on in the space station orbiting the planet Solaris. Upon his arrival, he discovers that two of the inhabitants of the station have killed themselves, and after a night of restless sleep filled with unsettling dreams of his recently deceased wife, who had also killed herself, he wakes to find her, his wife, actually there with him.

Last night was the anniversary of the night that I met Manny, 18 years earlier, while working at Marcello’s Pizza on Castro, when he picked me up (saying he was 40), despite my protestation that he should be picking on someone his own age (I had just turned 19). The movie made me think of a dream that I had of Manny in 1993, about a year and a half after his death, while renting a freezing cold apartment in Florence with Bob from the Marchsesa Frescobaldi. In my dream, while driving down Market Street, the sun setting, the city bathed in that late summer golden haze, I noticed a man on the side of the road who looked like Manny, seated in a wheelchair with a blanket over his lap, soaking up the last of the rays of sunlight. As I got closer I realized it WAS him, slammed on the brakes and ran to him, ranting hysterically, unbelievable. I couldn’t figure out what he was doing there, why he was alive, but I was so happy to see him again and to hold him. He held me for the longest time without saying anything, and then said, “Ya know, Christian (he always called me that, but it’s not my name), I’m really happy here, very cumftable (he grew up in the Bronx), and I’m going to be okay. And you’re going to be okay, too…” I got back in the car, drove away, and woke up, feeling that sadness that’s like a boulder on your diaphragm. Something was over.

For months after his death, I had thought that I had seen him here and there, and even once leapt from my car and chased a guy down, thinking it was Manny. I had so deeply and intensely loved him, a love bound to his physicality, the smell of his breath and the taste of his skin, that I couldn’t convince my senses that they were to be deprived of his molecules. Waking from my dream, I understood that he was completely gone, and more importantly, that I was letting go of him, too.

Two Saints, Godard, Work and a New Haircut

Überbearpornstar Jack Radcliffe gave me a big sweaty hug at the Castro Street Street fair on Sunday last. The crowd parted and the sun revealed his dazzling smile and outstretched arms. He’ll always be a Bellini saint to me. I spent the following Thursday evening with a less-hairy and more-than-likely less-hung saint, Messaien’s Saint Francois d’Assise at the SF Opera, which aside from being melodically challenging and brilliantly staged, Neue Sachlichkeit meets the Franciscans, and five hours long, introduced me to the ondes martenot, an electronic instrument dating from 1928 similar to the theremin, but with fixed notes and a keyboard, which Stravinsky described as “the musical equivalent of a colonoscopy.” I’m not sure that I would agree with Stravinsky, unless he thought colonoscopies were stimulating fabulous experiences. Seeing the opera in San Francisco is so much more comfortable than what I imagine the experience to be like in other big cities. First of all, you could wear a t-shirt, or khakis after Labor Day, or a pink tuxedo and nobody notices, not even the society people, who all wore black, as they don’t deviate from what’s expected of them seasonally, and would anything they say about me get back to me anyway? Their little world is very closed and their behavior very apelike–all posturing and preening and feral. I was very hot, as in sweating like a pig, in my Dolce & Gabbana chartreuse velvet suit. (80% off at Wilkes Bashford.) I am definitely dressing like the little dude in line at the bar downstairs next time and going for the t-shirt and gap khakis look. I’m sure that all of us non-society people who saw him thought the same thing–forget this velvet designer crap, I’m wearing my underwear next time! The opera was pretty stunning, with a rotating stage consisting mainly of an S-shaped ramp with a detachable snow-covering which hovered a few feet over it in the winter scene. On either side of the stage was a 3-level open tower, out of the second floor of one a blue angel with one wing appeared cantilevered over the stage below.

Last night I saw Godard’s new film, In Praise of Love, which I can’t honestly say I liked or not. I and the audience (all 5 of us) slept through half of it. I think I’d like to see it again, for what I did see seemed intriguing–a film about a director making a film about the four stages of love, and the obstacles that frustrate creativity. The first half was black and white, and looked exactly like a new wave film from the early 60’s, but not self-consciously. The second half was filmed in digital video, but that’s where I got lost in slumberland, so not much else to say about it. There did seem to be no joy, and a lot of anti-American sentiment which, while a necessary plot device, left me feeling slightly battered.

His Contempt is still one of my favorite films.

Today at work I set up an e-mail account for my boss’ friend, who is traveling to Bali next week for a month. She runs a travel service offering scuba tours of Indonesia. She’s currently her only client. She and the boss have property in Panama and are planning on building a house together. Their joint ventures remind me of Bob’s parents’ 2 big investments; Israeli oil and California City. After his parents’ Israeli oil stock became worthless, it was discovered that their property in California City couldn’t be developed because of the desert tortoise.

Yesterday I got my hair cut by the same barber who sexually harassed me a few haircuts ago. (Little Dave calls him “Big Red.”) He’s purchased the shop down the street from me and is going to make it into the haircutting equivalent of the Starbucks on 18th Street. A bear barbershop. His demeanor was disappointingly subdued, but he did shave my neck with a straight razor. Hot!