40th Birthday Dinner #5: Big Chrissy

There’s something fun about calling a big cuddly guy “Big Chrissy.” It’s deliciously close to “Big Sissy.” He’s also my Big Bunny Warmer and BC, for the past year my official paramour, but rarely “Chris.” BC decided on Azie, an Asian-inspired French restaurant as the destination of my fifth intimate 40th birthday dinner. Azie is a part of the LuLu restaurant conglomerate on Folsom Street, and like LuLu, everything comes served family style, which means that I don’t have to eat off of my companion’s plate, as I often do, and often to poor Big Chrissy’s dismay. We shared two small plates to begin: dungeness crap spring rolls, served in butter lettuce cups and with a pomegranate and cilantro dipping sauce; and stir-fried romaine lettuce and spinach with pear, wood ear mushrooms, and prosciutto. Both were brilliant, and accompanied by a French Viognier. We shared the duck breast and confit–really the best that I’ve ever had, crisp on the outside and melt-in-your-mouth inside–and the steak for our main courses, accompanied by a Russian River Pinot Noir, and for dessert chocolate cake served with jasmine tea ice cream, and cheesecake with sauteed figs, lots of caramel oozing across each dish. We nearly licked every plate clean. It was just a perfect meal, the subtle flavors of Asia woven seamlessly into French tradition.

Chrissy and I have known each other since 2000, when I responded to his WoofWatch profile, asking him if he’d be interested in modeling for me, and we became fast friends and soon thereafter lovers after I left Bob the first time. We then settled somewhat uncomfortably into friendship again after I went back to Bob, and alternately lovers and friends after I left Bob for good and during the rocky transition to independence, and for the past year we’ve enjoyed relative stability as a relatively exclusive item. Chrissy can be a pain, but he’s an ache I’ve grown to adore.

Only two more dinners to go!

Birthday Suit #5 Big Chris

40th Birthday Dinner #4: D

D, my first Hairy Supermodel and muse, my former lover temporarily taking up residence in my tiny studio downstairs, my–Norma Desmond’s–Max, decided on Malacca as the destination of my fourth intimate 40th birthday dinner. It’s a new restaurant on 18th, where Hot N’ Hunky used to be, named after a major port along the old Spice Route. The cuisine is a clever and tasty fusion of Asian and European cuisines and flavors. We shared a mixed plate of appetizers, all with interesting tangy dipping sauces and fruity marinades; a salad of mixed greens, shrimp and mango; pork loin served with a sweet potato puree, broccoli, and something else; “Portuguese Noodles” served with potatoes, pearl onions, veggies and a dreamy peanut mango sauce; a pyramid-shaped cheesecake for desert, and blood orange sorbet. Tal-ky tal-ky talky happy talk, talk about food you like to eat.

There’s just too much to say about Dean. Our relationship is an After-School Special at least, a Jackie Collins epic, or a 16 hour Fassbinder flick. He alternately frustrates and delights me, providing me with the highest and lowest extremes of pleasure and pain, and, despite putting a curse on me and clogging my pipes with his fur, will always be a cherished part of me, my irrational and emotional super id über bear.

Enough with the “woofs” already!

Birthday Suit #4 D

40th Birthday Dinner #3: Emily + BONUS Surprise Birthday Lunch

You’ve all heard me talk about Emily. We first met a few years ago when we were invited to participate in the Knowing You, Knowing Me show. We were among four Bay Area artists and three European artists who spent time getting to know each other and each other’s art and then created an exhibition out of the interaction and influence we had on each other. Emily selected Firefly, a cozy neighborhood restaurant with elegant seasonal comfort food, for my third intimate 40th birthday dinner. We shared the shrimp and scallop potstickers, which were like the potstickers of my dreams, crispy outside and creamy inside, with a tangy ginger dipping sauce; and a salad of mache, pear, fuyu persimmon, and anise vinaigrette; then I moved on to the duck, again, but this time served with a chestnut bread pudding, winter vegetables, and madera reduction; and for dessert we split the amazing goat cheese (!) cheesecake with fig and port sauce, and a chocolate truffle cake that oozed into a vanilla ice cream when cut into. We were very abstemious about the wine, and each had a single glass of the Calera pinot noir. It was a brilliantly comforting meal.

Emily reminds me a lot of Jean Seberg, or some glamorous nouvelle vague starlet. She has a slight hearing problem in one ear, so she talks a little loudly in restaurants. It’s totally like being with a movie star whose fame eclipses the need for propriety. I could see the ears of our neighbors turning towards her trying to pick up clues to which movie they saw her in recently but couldn’t remember, and then turn away quickly as they caught words like “structuralist” and “blowjob” in the same sentence. We both agreed that I was lucky to be born in the fall, as we both love the long nights and foods of autumn.

Bob Flynt flew into town for Bill Jacobson’s book-signing at Camerwork, which I had to miss because of my prior arrangement with Emily, so we met for gallery-going yesterday afternoon. He surprised me by treating me to a birthday lunch at Cafe Claude. Anticipating the big dinner ahead, I had the salade niçoise, and when thinking about desert, the waiter walked up and said, “From one scorpio to another, you must get the liquid chocolate cake, mon ami.” So I did, and it was amazing; a simple dense chocolate cake with a warm liquid interior that was like sex on a dish.

I am having such a great time with all these restaurants. Perhaps tonight I’ll get something other than duck. Stay tuned for Dinner #4 with Dean #2…

Birthday Suit #3 Emily

40th Birthday Dinner #2: Hong Xi

Hong Xi picked me up at 5:28 and swept me away to the Ferry Building and my second intimate 40th birthday dinner. Hong Xi chose The Slanted Door as the site of our celebration, one of the loudest, and thus most difficult places to be intimate in, but home of some of the best nouveau Vietnamese victuals to be had in the city. Hong Xi, the artist known as Su-Chen Hung, and I screamed at each other affectionately all night over our many courses. We started with a salad of greens, seared beef, and orange; then on to a vermicelli dish topped with halibut and a pineapple anchovy sauce; pan-seared scallops with spinach and a spicy black bean sauce; peppery duck with mushrooms and persimmon; and for dessert a pear tartlet served with pear sorbet and caramel. Given the many flavors and critters that composed our meal, and Hong Xi’s preference for reds, we chose a spicy young aromatic and lightly fruity but deep purpley wine, a mondeuse from the Bugey region of France to accompany our meal.

Su-Chen only recently changed her name, and her close friends and family are now calling her Hong Xi. I continually address her as “Su-Chen I mean Hong Xi.” We met in 1986 in Tokyo, and discovered that we went to the same school and had all the same friends, and quickly became close buddies and frequent collaborators back in SF. After nearly 20 years I finally discovered what her family business is, but it’s been such a mystery for so long that I’m reluctant to discuss it publicly, although it’s certainly not anything to not discuss. Her love life is still a mystery, though. Maybe at my 50th I’ll find out about that. Is it an Eastern thing to compartmentalize so efficiently?

We decided to start up our Dinner Club again. We used to meet once a month, she and some friends, for a unique epicurean adventure, but first Denny and his lover broke up, then Bob and I, and then Nick moved to Taiwan, so our club sort of fizzled out.

She’s working on a project now that involves threading 30,000 needles, by hand, each with 100 feet of red thread. Her work is ephemeral and process oriented, but also sculptural and graphic. And always captivating. It’s just for me and the few people who get to experience it while it’s around. I’m so lucky to have such a friend who has created so much for me to enjoy and ponder for such a long time, and to leave me ever eager for more.

Dinner #3 coming up Wednesday…

Birthday Suit #2 Su-Chen/Hong Xi

40th Birthday Dinner #1: Dean and Doug

Dean and Doug arrived promptly at 7:00 and swept me away to the Mission and my first intimate 40th birthday dinner. They chose Maverick, one of the “new American” restaurants popping up in the neighborhood. Maverick is on 17th Street, where Limon used to be before moving around the corner, and Panchita’s before that–2 of my former favorites haunts. We started with a bottle of Prosecco, from the Friuli-Venezia Giulia region instead of the Veneto, and thus a new experience for me. It was bubbly and dry, with just the right amount of fruit. The sommelier is a young guy, but with a very sophisticated palette favoring brash and bold flavors. But not in the way that the French scoff at—brash and bold, but restrained. The prosecco was paired with a salad of greens, figs, and pomegranate, beautifully presented and just as tasty. For my main course I had a duck breast served with wild rice and mushrooms, paired with a completely marvelous Sonoma pinot called Duckbill (? not Duckhorn or Duck Pond, I’ll find out…) that knocked my socks off with its smokey herby cherry lightness. For dessert I had the Apple Crisp with a late-harvest Viognier from Sonoma that was okay, but was overshadowed by the sample of an “Ice” Wine that our waitress, excited by our enthusiasm for the wines, brought for us to try. It was made of grapes that were left on the vine until after the first frost, harvested, and then pressed while still frozen. The result is a wine that has very highly concentrated fruit and aroma, but that is balanced by a high alcohol content. I want to marry that sommelier, or at least force myself upon his wine cellar.

A most enjoyable and delightful beginning to the birthday season and the new decade: excellent food, stimulating conversation, hearty laughs, dynamite wines, and dear sweet friends.

Birthday Suit #1 Dean & Doug

Pappardelle Tonight

For dinner this evening I made “Pappardelle con sugo di coniglio,” or pappardelle with rabbit sauce, one of my favorite northern Italian dishes. Momentarily setting aside my vegifishitarianism, it was intended for Philip, who came over for dinner Wednesday night, but he, and then Peter and Luis, and then this friend and that friend, all pleaded a fear of my bunny-infused concoction. Have you seen Repulsion? Well, I didn’t want the bunny to end up like Catherine Deneuve’s bunny, or me to end up like Catherine Deneuve at the end of this weekend, so I thought I’d make it for Reese–he eats anything, but he decided to stay with his moms tonight and finish his Halloween costume. Who to call? I asked Michael and Andrew, but they were busy, Rainey didn’t answer the phone–Hong Xi! I’ve seen her eat the organ meat of animals that I thought were endangered. So she’s on the way. I wish I could share this with all of you–it took half the day to make and came out really really good. The house smells like that of a rowdy Tuscan gourmande. Mangia, mangia!

Second Choices, Missed Chances

Tonight Philip and I went to Nippon on Church for sushi. Our first choice, Warakabune, the sushi-boat place across the street, was closed. The second-choice theme continued as we were brought someone else’s food–which we ate not even noticing the distant similarity to our order until it was taken away by our waitress–and then bumped into Larry B on the way out, whose affections I unsuccessfully solicited about 20 or so years ago. (During my brief single cub-ness last year, he responded enthusiastically to my Bear-Net ad, and I couldn’t resist telling him that he had his chance 20 years ago.) Anyway, chatting with him in front of Nippon, I asked, “Hey Larry, how are you?” and he told me that he had lost his lover. I thought that he was explaining to me why he was standing in front of the restaurant alone, and I asked, like a total idiot, “What do you mean, ‘lost’ your lover?” “Dead. He’s dead.” I was completely mortified that I had conveyed a sense of lightness about a sadness the depth of which I know all too well. Marjorie Wood, stupid, stupid, stupid. He was very sweet about my clumsiness, and seemed to accept my apologies and condolences while eyeing my crotch with that same teasing curiosity of 20 years ago. He said, “I thought of you the other day,” and then couldn’t remember why. “Well, Larry, it was GREAT to see you again.” So I whisked Philip back to my pad for a viewing of Trouble in Paradise, one of my all-time favorite Lubitsch films, but due to a technical glitch with the initials “Big Chrissy,” our second choice, after The Conversation, which we’ve both been keen to revisit.

More later in the week. I grow fatigued.

Two Score and Seven Dinners: Plan A

I would imagine that you are all a bit weary reading of natural disasters, but prepare yourselves for the greatest natural disaster of the year–my turning 40 in November.

Since everyone has received my letter, I thought I’d share with the rest of you the Grand 40th Birthday Scheme PLAN A, as most of you have had to listen to all of my many plans for the past year now, and are probably wondering what I finally decided to do. You DO remember that I’m turning 40 in November, don’t you? Remember the Rome apartment plan? Well, Peter and Luis bailed, and Big Chrissy’s out of a job, so my Roman Orgy is now PLAN B, and will take place next year, after my triumph or failure in New York. So on to PLAN A. Here is a copy of the letter that I sent out to my best buddies:

September 15, 2005

Dear Big Chrissy, D, Dean & Doug, Emily, Peter & Luis, Philip, and Su-Chen/Hong Xi,

I’ve spent much time planning grand ways to celebrate my 40th birthday in November. Each discarded plan has given way to even grander schemes. I’ve decided to abandon them all in favor of several more intimate vignettes.

The New Plan:

During birthday parties or dinners of yore, I found it frustrating trying to relate to everyone at once. In looking at my past few decades, the few things that haven’t changed are my hunger for intimacy, my love of food, and my indecisiveness. I propose to celebrate all three in a marathon orgy of caloric consumption with my dear friends, but stretched over a few weeks, and with one (person or couple) of you at a time.

So here’s what I would like to do: I would like to take you out to dinner, so we can celebrate my entrance into this decade together, just you and me, at a restaurant of your choice. I don’t want to decide, or even make the reservations. But it’s my treat. Anywhere you’d like to go. Dollar signs aren’t an issue, although I’m just as drawn to dives as I am to Michelin stars. The main thing is that it is an experience that you’d like to share with me, either a restaurant that you’ve been curious about, or your all-time favorite, or one that you save for special occasions, or maybe just because it makes you happy to go there, or you think I’d like it.

Just give me a call so that we can set up a date for sometime in the first two weeks of November, or whenever it’s convenient for you–but I don’t want to know anything else. Just tell me what to wear and when you’re going to pick me up. (That is, if you could pick me up, too, that’d be great!) And remember, it’s my treat.

Thanks for making my 30’s so special, and for listening to all my woes, grand schemes, and for tolerating the challenges of my decision-making process. I can’t wait to celebrate with you the onset of the new wisdom, body aches, and distractions, that surely await in the next exciting chapter of The Book of Coco.

Chris

Of course, I will report on all dinners in November. Stay tuned!

Birmingham: Visit with Friends

I made my way to James’ new digs in Crestwood, a gay bachelor pad seamlessly woven into a comfy middle class milieu, that he shares with two other dudes. Aside from the guy sleeping on his bed when I arrived, he’s also seeing a Russian dude who lives down the street whose name sounds like “florist” without the “fl,” and a “fuzzy bear guy.” James, now waiting tables and moonlighting his prodigious talents as wigmaster and costume designer, is never far from mass quantities of physical attention. Indeed, he yawned frequently at dinner, prompting my question, “The guy on the bed?” and his affirmative nod. James’ status as a fugitive from justice is near an end, so soon he’ll be able to visit California again without the fear of being apprehended. James and I have gone years at a time without keeping in touch, but we share a connection unhindered in the slightest by distance of time or space. In high school I felt obliged to accommodate his attraction to me, and let him advance his talents upon my person one night. I wasn’t terribly interested, but at that age biology rolls along independent of thought, and roll along I did, for something like 3 hours. His interest, knowledge and dexterity astounded me, but I was saving my heart for Potsie, who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was to toss it out the winder and onto the freeway shoulder where it would be flattened with the other road kill in the coming months.

Susan and her daughter Casey, who is a dead ringer for Reese Witherspoon, came over for a brief visit with my mom and dad, and then they swept me away to the Cedar Post Restaurant for eggs, grits, sausage, and biscuits, and then a drive around town. The town that we grew up in, Susan and I, is called Pinson. Its recent incorporation as a real city, with a mayor and everything, was prompted by Birmingham’s annexation of nearly every surrounding township. Unfortunately, Pinson’s status as a city has been accompanied by a complete loss of civic visual identity. The charming old buildings downtown were bulldozed to make way for shopping plazas that have already gone bust. Triangle Park is still there, but with no context since they widened the highway. The Old Rock School is now just the face of a megachurch called the Rock Solid Church. Attaching a new building to the old mimics the vernacular use of field stones to face the sides of buildings or foundations. I suppose it’s nice that they saved the old rock school, but my attachment to community and place seems to be a quaint romantic and outmoded alternative to progress and convenience.

Anyway, Susan is a neo-gothic heroine who slaves away at two minimum-wage jobs to pay the mortgage on her trailer and support her two kids and decidedly less ambitious husband. She has a brilliant wit and is a writer of extraordinary talents, yet her novel remains unfinished. Often times when I visit her, I listen to her richly embellished and ornamented tales of life in Pinson and dread the moment when she says, “Well, I’d better get on home…” I have yet to meet her husband, well, since he said he’d kill me and all, but he seems to have mellowed since the divorce, remarriage, and his wife coming out, and maybe next time we’ll finally get to connect. He told Susan of his fears that she was probably going to up and leave him and run off to San Francisco with me. She’s Cinderella in that trailer, with absolutely no idea that in San Francisco she would be a queen.

April, whom I visited later in the afternoon, is, I think, one of the great southern beauties, with an uncanny resemblance to Ricky Lee Jones. We sipped wine on the veranda of her beautiful old brick house near Highland Park, and swatted mosquitos while talking of our impending middle age and various ailments.

I was deeply humbled by my visits with James and Susan, and how hard they have to work, and how much real talent lies fallow due to the distractions of survival and the lack of creative outlet. April seems very comfy and happy, with a doting husband, great kids, and solid teaching career.

Next Chapter… The Men of Pinson Valley.

Another Night at the Movies

Philip and I saw Wong Kar-Wai’s 2046 tonight, the baroque follow-up to his minimalist (by comparison) In the Mood For Love2046 was much more complex visually and thematically, with a lot more dialogue and practically every beautiful Chinese starlet. The characters stumbled through passionate and painful love affairs, each unable to shake his or her past or to connect fully in the present. The future, represented by a short story told within the film, seemed to hold the promise of something out of the reach of our frustrated lovers. At one point the narrator says something about how love is no good if not experienced in the right place or time, and the attachment that each character has to something lost or not possible illuminates this idea extensively thoughout the film. I preferred In the Mood For Love, for its gestural lushness and simplicity, but am left with much to think about after 2046. A perfectly balanced pas de deux, these two films.

Philip and I moseyed on over to North Beach for gnocchi and panelle afterwards, a nice stroll through Italian Disneyland and throngs of tourists. I like hanging out with Philip because he’s always so calm and pleasant. I bet my blood pressure goes down, too.

Not much else has been happening except seeing lots of movies. I did meet with the new dealer Tuesday, and it looks like I will be having a show in San Francisco next year, but I have to pop into the gallery when I get back from Alabama to measure the space and talk about scheduling. Rather than showing a particular series, I’m drawing from 4 series of works that I haven’t shown yet, going back to 2000 or so, eager to juxtapose all of these disparate ideas and styles.

Tomorrow I’ll sadly put away my white shoes and white belt for the season. Y’all don’t forget to do the same!