The Look of Love

The Look of Love currently at the Birmingham Museum of Art is an utterly charming exhibition of exquisite and daintily hand-painted “lovers’ eyes,” miniatures of human eyes set in jewelry and given as tokens of affection or remembrance. The tradition dates back to the end of the 18th century, when the Prince of Wales sent his reluctant lover a miniature portrait of his eye, along with a proposal of marriage. His act inspired other aristocratic types to exchange their own eye portraits.

One piece has an inscription on it, il ne voit et ne verra que toi: it (my eye) sees and will see only you.

Only about 1,000 of these portraits are know to exist. This collection of some 100 objects was pieced together by Dr. and Mrs. David A. Skier of Birmingham, and is the largest collection of its type in the world. If you need only one excuse to visit the Magic City this spring, this is it.

A Goodwill Bargain: $6.99 Each

This morning, I received an email from someone who purchased one of my photographs at the Goodwill store on South Van Ness. She wanted to let me know that there were three more, in case I wanted to buy them.

Flash back to 1997. After seeing my solo show The Night of the Hunter, my first body of work based on the theme of the voluptuous bear body, a big downtown gallery dealer offered me a solo show. She took four pieces from the Hunter show, after it came down, to have in the gallery’s back room prior to my solo show with her, and promptly sold them the next day. My first big sale. And to an important photo collector in Marin! I thought I was finally on the way.

Fast forward a decade. Perusing the personal ads on Bear411, I came across some scantily clad fellow in clumsy contrapposto with the same four photos in the background!

“They were from my first show, my passion for the hirsute rendered as both a quest for beauty and a place to live: I the artist/hunter, and the hairy bear my subject/trophy!” I frantically messaged to the bear, exclamation points and all.

How they got from Big Photo Collector in Marin to Scantily Clad Bear Guy in San Francisco is anybody’s guess. He didn’t seem interested in conversing about the aesthetic context of his pictures, so I said bye-bye and that was that.

Until this morning’s email. Those same photos had somehow made their way to Goodwill. I thought about leaving them there, hoping that someone would buy them because they actually liked them, like the sender of the email, but I was suddenly seized by a fear that they wouldn’t sell at Goodwill, or worse, someone would buy them for the frames and trash my photos. Maybe I could at least give them away. I also happened to be working in the neighborhood and couldn’t resist. $6.99 each. With tax, $20.97.

Just last week I decided to move away from work engaged with beauty to art culled from real life, photos about our time, my time, my experience. How completely wonderful to have those images come back to me at this time, at the end of this cycle that began with them. We’ll see where they end up next.

But I am Napoléon!

I spent my entire Sunday on my little butt in the glorious Paramount Theater in Oakland, watching the 6-1/2 hour Napoléon, by Abel Gance. Made in 1927, it’s a grand silent epic about Napoléon’s early years, from but a wee snowball-hurling laddy, to his triumphant campaign in Italy. The first two hours and the last hour were the most thrilling moments that I’ve ever spent in a theater. Gance employs hand-held camera shots, enormous close-ups, point-of-view shots, an underwater sequence, superimposition, split screen, double exposures, film tints, mosaic shots, lightning fast cutting… The middle three hours or so tested my theater knee, but with just enough moments of dazzling brilliance and ibuprofen to get me through. And Artaud plays Marat, his death staged after the David painting!

The first sequence opens with Napoléon as a child, a very serious child, playing in the snow with his school chums. They’re engaged in a very serious snow ball fight, Napoléon and his little friends outnumbered 10 to 40 by the rival hurlers. It’s one of the great battle scenes on film. The camera is constantly moving—you’re in the middle of the snowball battle!—kids frantically flailing about, snowballs and kids crashing into the camera, but the camera settling down only on Little Napoléon’s steadfast seriousness, his visage filling the frame. The cutting is frantic, rapid, at times images flooding past too quickly to grasp, just emotion-inducing impressions.

There’s one scene around the middle of the film, when Napoléon’s a little older. He’s on his home turf, Corsica, the French Revolution is going on, chaos. He’s in a tavern, and all of the various factions seeking control of Corsica are getting all activated, “Corsica belongs to the British! Death to Napoléon!” “Corsica belongs to Italy! Death to Napoléon!” and on and on. Napoléon stares them down, “Our fatherland is France! …with me!” The camera goes back and forth from Napoléon’s big face, illuminated gorgeously from behind by the setting sun, to the yelling factions, shielding their eyes, blinded and seduced by him.

There are so many many scenes like this, some calm, framed almost like tableaux, others visceral, the camera probing and roving. For the final hour-long sequence, presented in “Polyvision,” curtains on either side of the screen slide back, revealing two more screens, tripling the size of the viewing plane. He uses this space in probably as many ways as you could imagine, ways that were not utilized until Cinemascope in the 50s and only recently in artists’ video installations. There are scenes where the images on all three screens come together in a nearly seamless panorama, the foreground and background utilized dynamically, with horses and soldiers traversing diagonally across the screens. Other sequences are presented with a single image of Napoléon in the center, his advancing troops marching towards the camera on the adjacent screens. Sometimes the flanking images are flipped, sometimes there are three different sequences playing at once, one close up, the other a landscape, yet another an eagle, a zealous admirer. It builds and builds, the cutting getting faster and faster, until in the final few moments the left screen is tinted blue, the center white, the right, red, as in the French flag, with an explosion of such amazingly beautiful imagery that flies past, eventually settling on Napoléon’s face, so heroic and magnificent. The images flood past so quickly, the effect is like an enormous waving flag. I started crying, I was so overwhelmed by the emotional and visual weight. And this was supposed to have been the first of six films! Even I can’t imagine that much stimulation.

A Show Like Alice

Alice Shaw has a sly sense of humor and it permeates every one of the photo-based objects in her solo show currently on view at Gallery 16. A “spray-paint-o-graph” looks like an early experiment from the dawn of Photography, those barely-discernable fern fronds we had to sit through in Art School, but hers is exactly what it’s called, leaves laid on paper, the paper spray painted, the shadowy outlines of the leaves left behind, instantly recognizable as being from both another time and our own. Her show is the wittiest, most delightful exploration of the many modes of photographic expression in town. And it’s all about death: of photography, of the environment, of the object. A must-see!

A Death in the Family

My dear friend Robert Schatz died, of a heart attack. Robert was of a generation of gay men who experienced the first wave of sexual liberation, a generation that sadly has few remaining. In the 80s, when I first met him, Robert prepared to die. AIDS was considered a death sentence back then. I remember in the mid 90s when new medical cocktails became available and suddenly, after preparing to die, he had to prepare to live, and a different kind of struggle ensued. With Robert, as indeed with most of his generation, you could discuss a Bette Davis movie and a Maria Callas aria easily in the same sentence, and with many exact quotes and exaggerated swishy trills. He was one of the subjects of some seminal gay documentary in the 70s—was it Gay USA? I remember being so soothed by his calm voice, and looking up to him as a kind of role model. He was really one of the most pleasant people I’ve ever known, always so easy to be with, despite his habit of talking with his mouth full and spewing bits of food in your face. I’m so sad to think of him not around anymore, but considering that he didn’t expect to live to his 40th birthday, he had a hell of a run. Goodbye, Robert, I really loved you and am going to miss you so much.

Avant-Garde, Then and Now

Weary of being out in the rain, Big Chrissy and I stopped into the de Young to see the Jean-Paul Gaultier exhibit. The de Young has comfortably settled into its funhouse policy, and pulled no stops in making this show a sure crowd-pleaser. Upon entering, you hear Gaultier’s booming voice, and then see his chattering face projected on the head of a life-sized mannequin. It’s a magical motif, used throughout the show, with different mannequins blabbering away, some just blinking. His cone bras are given a special little sort of padded fetishy glassed-in cell, in the center of one gallery. They’re actually stunning, as with all of the designs in the show, exquisitely tailored and exquisitely perverse. Since his designs no longer shock, one is able to fully appreciate the doors he opened with his gender-bending styles, embrace of immigrants and multiculturalism, and his obvious enjoyment of the full spectrum of human experience and interaction.

Still raining, we made our way to the Legion to see the Victorian Avant-Garde show. The show presents a wide range of handsomely fabricated objects from the British Aesthetic movement, covering the movement’s influence on painting, architecture, fashion and design. Velvet knee breeches, Christopher Dresser teapots, Whistler’s Nocturnes, William Morris wallpaper, and all those wispy red-haired beauties…

The Dating Game: On the Moors

I’ve decided to cease writing about my dating life. For now, anyway. Up to this point, I’ve looked at dating as a kind of game, partially to keep myself from going mad with frustration and to not take it all too seriously—to find the humor in what is really my most serious endeavor.

I learned in my past relationships that being open and honest was key to the success of any future relationship for me. And I really want just one more, someone to spend the rest of my life with. This openness sort of backfired recently, when a few of the guys I’ve gone out with reacted negatively to this exposure—like, maybe my need for openness doesn’t have to include the entire internet?

One guy’s ready to dive right in, another’s not quite ready to open himself up, yet another seems not quite right for me. For the one not quite ready to open himself up, I feel something that feels like love, already, so powerful, but not the liberating love that I felt with Manny or Bob, just a disagreeable Bronte-esque longing that seems, frankly, unwelcome at this stage. Yet I feel this thing. I want to jump ahead, past the chapters about loneliness and despair on the moors.

It doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen—all that exposition, I can’t avoid it. I do hope to pick up the story later on, and fill you in on those details, in edited and perhaps less graphic retrospect, but for now it doesn’t feel like a game anymore.

Christmas in March

Señor Grant came up from LA for the weekend, the whole weekend. It was like Christmas, my handsome package delivered via Virgin Airlines Friday night. We saw Beach Blanket Babylon at Club Fugazzi, Double Indemnity and La Casa de mi Padre, the Rineke Dijkstra retrospective and Mexican photography show at SFMoMA, and soaked in the baths at the Kabuki Hot Springs.

I enjoyed Beach Blanket Babylon a bit less this time around, feeling like only one number connected with current pop culture, or, rather, the not-too-distant pop culture of my own youth, but that number was a doozy, with Snow White stripping off her familiar outfit to reveal a Madonna cone bra ensemble, then flying out over the audience as she sang about “surviving gravity,” perfectly over the top. The show outside was just as entertaining, with heterosexuals everywhere, dressed in green, gurgling green beer and stumbling into the street, tottering drunk girls sent home in taxis by boys who wanted to continue partying, one couple drunkenly breaking up on the sidewalk…

The Rineke Dijkstra retrospective is pretty fabulous. Her photographs present people formally almost always in the center of the frame, looking directly at the viewer. The references to place are minimal—a beach, a room. The subjects aren’t engaged, they’re observed, revealed. There are also videos on view, of club kids dancing for the camera, single static shots that last so long that the initial awkwardness of the dance movements gives way to something revelatory and intimate about each subject. Another multi-channel video piece focuses on kids who are shown responding to one of Picasso’s weeping women. They discuss what the painting could mean, in raw, unguided engagement with the work. Their speculations about why she’s sad range from the, well, childlike, to incredibly insightful.

I remember before I moved to San Francisco, seeing some hysterical documentary about earthquakes and plate tectonics, about how Los Angeles and San Francisco are slowly moving towards each other. I wish it would hurry up. I really like this guy.

Christmas is over, back to work. Thank you, Santa.

Dishonored

In Joseph Von Sternberg’s Dishonored, Marlene Dietrich plays a prostitute whose patriotism and sexual allure are so admired by the chief of the Austrian secret police that he asks her to put those qualities to work for her country. She shows up for her job interview in a frilly revealing dress and wrapped in a coat with a high feathered collar, a veil of black lace. After successfully uncovering the traitorous plans of her first conquest, and nabbing a second guy working for the Russian secret police, she’s sentenced to death(?!!) when the second guy—with whom she’s incidentally fallen in love, and from whom she’s sent in to procure some last minute espionage details before he’s put to death—escapes. She asks for her civilian clothes, the frilly dress and the coat with the high feathered collar, and is led to the firing squad. She smiles at the head of the firing squad, the guy who escorted her to her job interview about 45 minutes earlier, and he starts yelling, “I won’t! I won’t kill a woman! You call this patriotism, I call it murder!” As he’s dragged away, Marlene takes the opportunity, in a gorgeous blurry close-up, to reapply her lipstick and straighten her stocking. And then she’s shot! Shot dead! No lingering, she just drops to the snow, The End, lipstick perfect.

I love this movie!

Bouncing Bronze Beach Bears

Today I had the beach to myself. Until the bronze furry-bellied chubs came along. Unlike yesterday’s crowd of youthful mostly slender gays and lesbians, today’s was consistently of a more mature, girthful constitution. The first one to come along made a beeline to my spot on the beach and asked for help understanding the parking meters. I willingly assisted the portly beach enthusiast-in-distress, who ultimately settled down a few feet away, and asked for yet another favor, to slather his fuzzy back with sunscreen. Is this starting to sound like a porn movie? To dispel those sorts of expectations, I’ll tell you now that there are no Happy Endings here, this was more like a 70s soft core beach flick starring someone like Raquel Welch and Oliver Reed. I was very happy to oblige with the sunscreen, and we struck up a conversation and fell into a remarkably easy and intimate exchange as we continued applying sunscreen to subsequent limbs and expanses. He told me he was in a monogamous relationship of 22 years, visiting from New York, and that he had popped down to the beach for a quick dip in the Gulf before joining his partner for lunch. I told him of my current dating life, of my former partners, we chatted about love and fidelity, of our mutual embrace of long-term entanglements. Our enthusiastic touching and conversing about fidelity stimulated a response requiring a great deal of diversionary posturing, so in lieu of public beach infidelity, I suggested that he channel the titillation towards a wonderful evening with his partner. I recommended that he tell him that he met this hot stud on the beach who, while applying sunscreen to his back, brushed delicately but suggestively against his body, making tiny little grunting sounds, “Yeah, uh-uh,” stuff like that, but that he calmly told his molester that he was a married man and was true to his one and only. I fed him more lines of dialogue, added more muscles and super-sized appendages, and asked that he think of me when welcoming his partner’s proud and excited response, that he imagine me on the headboard, performing some dance with many veils and attendant putti.

There were about four couples who settled in around us, a convergence of coupledom each consisting of a more full-bodied furry fellow and a slightly younger slimmer paler companion. Who staged this for me?

And then this motorized Spanish galleon putted past…