Mty Favorite Day of the Year, and the Day After

Monday, September 30th, 2002 | Gay

Today is my favorite day of the year. All at once the shadows are really long, there’s a little nip in the air, my garden is suddenly shaded. The colors seem more saturated, the scents more intense. It feels like everything’s going to sleep. I want to just stare out into my garden or at the shadows moving across my bedroom wall like a cat.

Speaking of looking, the Folsom Street Fair did not disappoint yesterday. In addition to the usual number of shaved weenies flopping about in the sun, we witnessed several seemingly illegal and audacious displays of exhibitionism. One guy, shaved muff–what is with the shaved muff? It seems like the desire to reveal is taken to the extreme, but it’s so not enticing visually or texturally–anyway, there was this guy with the shaved oiled body stroking his flopper right there in the noon-day sun! A crowd gathered around him and he eventually squirted, or rather dribbled, with a little squeak, a trembling of the body, and a “Happy Folsom, Everybody!” The crowd clapped politely and moved on to the next dude…

This guy had a body the color of a greased doughnut, shaved muff again, and one of those downward-hooked honkers that seem like they couldn’t actually be inserted into anything without a great deal of acrobatics and extreme flexibility. He led around a woman on a little leash, and she photographed him as he oiled and stroked his very tightly circumcised downward-hooked thingy. No money shot for this guy, but lots of sincerity and good posture.

It was thrilling to see and smell all that hair and flesh and cowhide, but penises just look silly in broad daylight, and especially those god awful shaved things. Does anyone like having sandpaper banged against his butt? Thank god for BC’s glorious uncoiffed muff pie.

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