Spent

Wow, I never thought this would happen so quickly, but I just met with Bob, and we chatted away like old times. I had asked for him to meet me, and over coffee offered several possible solutions to our current post-breakup quandry. Basically, there’s just no way that either of us is ever going to accept the other’s perspective so I suggested that we each compromise, especially since everything’s boiled down to one final item of contention. He said that he’d think my offer over, and then we chatted on about art, travel, Reese, etc… I even hugged him goodbye. Walking home I just started crying. As you all may have observed, I’m not terribly good at dealing with loose ends, even though I seem to create a lot of them, and the past year has been pretty tangley. Actually, the past 5 years. No wait… When have things not been tangley? I don’t want Bob to not be a part of my life, and I hope that we can agree to disagree, compromise, move on, and see if it’s possible to salvage the positive aspects of our relating. I just feel emotionally spent right now.

On the bright side, Charlie Kaufman and Alexander Payne received well-deserved Academy Awards.

I took D out for his birthday last week to see the Trisha Brown Dance Company in Berkeley. I saw her l’Orfeo in Paris a few years ago, one of the artistic high points of my life, and have been eager to see her smaller-scale pieces. Her dancers are very fluid, and move through many different visual planes, often being held aloft as they walk perpendicular to the audience or across and over and on top of each other. The first piece included a set design by Robert Rauschenberg that was so arresting that I had to mentally push it off to the side so that I could focus on the dance and Laurie Anderson’s vocals. A second dance, set to music by John Cage from the late 40’s, pushed movement into the even more abstract, and at points the audience gasped in unison, everyone stunned.

I’m off to see Altman’s Images, with Susanna York–that is, starring, Susannah York, not accompanied by, unfortunately.

My diet is going okay. I’ve decided to–hold your breath everybody–limit myself to one glass of wine when I drink. If I feel like getting loopy, I have 2. I hope I’m as lucid sober as I think I am pitched slightly on the edge of intoxication. No more lampshades for a while. Remember that Simpson’s episode where Marge wages war on violent cartoons? Where she succeeds in convincing the cartoon creators to make non-violent cartoons and all the kids turn off their TV’s and step outside, rubbing their eyes and then quickly engaging each other in creative game-play and healthy outdoorsy-ness? That’s kind of how I feel right now–but I know how the episode ends, so I’m going to make the most of it and enjoy my healthy non-pickled heart.

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