Another thing about seeing Bob last night… it was the second time that we embraced in over three years, and the first time that I felt no bitterness, anger or resentment seething from Bob’s entire being. It was also really strange, seeing him and Anthony sitting where he and I always sat at Langton readings, and remembering our collaborative performance at Canessa Park when he and I first started dating, after as many months as he and Anthony have probably been seeing each other. Anyway, embracing him without all those dark clouds that have been hovering over him for so long was comfortably discombobulating. We spent so many years learning how to play each other’s bodies, fitting into only each other, I felt kind of snapped back into place–like the new power plug for the MacBook Pro! I knew how his nipples felt when I rubbed against his chest, exactly the next little movement necessary to make his lips part… I imagined us going home afterwards and talking about the reading, as if the intervening years hadn’t happened, like we hadn’t broken up, like we were still Bob and Chris. I don’t suppose we unlearn the love we’ve experienced, or the intimacy that we’ve shared, that we just turn away from it, or accept that it’s, I don’t know, over there now. But how can it be over there and feel like it’s so, I don’t know, over here?
There’s a Bachelor at the door of the CocoPad, gotta run…