Release the Sausages

The gay film festival has so far been the exact same film festival that I’ve gone to since but a wee gay laddy. It was nice to finally meet Alonso and his fabulous husband Dave, though. Alonso presented film clips and comments from his recent 101 Must-See Movies Blah Blah that surely you’ve all read by now, and if you haven’t, be a good little homophile and pick up a copy today. Alonso, have you seen Black Lizard? It’s the 1 Film That All Gay Men Should See–and for literature buffs, you get to see Yukio Mishima dipped in wax for the infamous transvestite jewel thief Black Lizard’s wax human doll collection! I must know if this oversight was intentional, and why!

Anyway, back to the festival—no wait, first back to Alonso and Dave… Philip once again failed to live up to his user name (foodpoisoningsf) and this morning whipped up some tasty victuals for our hungry guests from LALA land and their 8 greatest San Francisco fans. I had 5 sausages. The pancakes were like the kind that usually have little fish eggs on them in really expensive restaurants, but with blueberries instead. Can we just call my life La Grande Bouffe?

So the film festival, yeah, I remember now why I haven’t gone the past couple of years. Gay filmmakers just don’t know how to make movies. Sorry, that’s “un-repressed” gay filmakers. They make gay film festival movies, with insipid twists on coming out and being all muscly. The week’s films are all a blur, what I’ve had to sit through… I could write Alonso’s anti-book, 1001 Films That Every Gay Man Should Never Have to Pay to See and Really Should Just Avoid at All Costs. There are a few promisingly bright cinematic points on the horizon, though, so all hope is not yet lost…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.