The shaving thing really bugs me. The Major came over last night and unveiled his barbed pubis and clipped chest. This guy is my Lou Grant; big bushy eyebrows, thick furry thighs… and then this pink area. Pink, and stubbly. The significant reduction in sensual possibilities confounded me.
I met him over the weekend, brunching at Tangerine in the Castro. He’s adorable, easy to talk to, with furry hobbit knuckles. After brunch, he grabbed me and kissed me on the street in front of the crowded-to-capacity Tangerine’s picture windows. It was so exciting, to be pounced on so publicly, and with such apparent urgency, but totally and completely embarrassing in front of all those brunchers. The various stimuli increased the signal output from a part of my brain called the para-ventricular nucleus. The signals then passed through special autonomic nerves in my spinal cord, pelvic nerves and the cavernous nerves that run along my prostate gland to reach the corpora cavernosa and the arteries that supply them with blood. Despite my slightly befuddled state, somehow the muscle fibres in the corpora relaxed, allowing blood to fill the spaces between them. Muscle fibres in my arteries relaxed as well, and there was suddenly an eight-fold increase in blood flow. The increased blood flow quickly expanded the corpora, then stretched the surrounding sheath (the tunica). As the tunica stretched, it blocked off the veins that normally take blood away from my corpora cavernosa. This trapped blood, the pressure becoming very high and the result quite erect. He kissed me again, as passionately as a kiss on the street in broad daylight could be, then fled, speeding away on his scooter, leaving me with my hands in my pockets and a fraught 6-block walk home.
Impulsively, I texted him later and asked if he wanted to come over the next day to pursue a sudden increase in noradrenaline production from nerves in our genitalia, to trigger and contract the muscle fibres in our corpora cavernosa and the supplying arteries. Hence the encounter with the clipped and snipped pink sector.
For the moment, I’m afraid I can’t see the forrest for the tree is bare. But stay tuned, it’s bound to grow back…