10 Things That I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t

Here are a few. I…

1. Was introduced by my lover to Polly Bergen as “Gloria.”
2. Was passionately engaged in the closet of a bar in Japan by the owner who used the time-worn ruse of asking to exchange clothes with me while my friends waited outside the door to view our new outfits.
3. Went mushroom hunting with the wife of either Komar or Melamid on an island off the coast of Maine.
4. Took a Korean ginseng bath with Lawrence “Morpheus” Fishburne.
5. Had one ex-lover pay a witch to place a curse on me.
6. Appear in the still photos featured in Marlon Riggs’ film Color Adjustment.
7. Have a brother who was dumped by his girlfriend for Robert Conrad.
8. Had a stalker break into the San Francisco Art Institute to steal my student photographs of myself in my underwear (I was a student) who turned out to be someone I worked with at Marcello’s Pizza who told me about the theft and his mad love for me as he laid out a picnic for me during my 15-minute break and then wrote me a letter on a barf bag telling me I destroyed his life and then fled to Los Angeles never to be heard from again. It happened again 3 months later, from a different co-worker.
9. Had a famous New York critic and writer prepare his special place in my studio before meeting his Rent Boy.
10. Was introduced to Edmund White as the one who didn’t leave Bob for the Vatican priest.

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